… the raging debate over health care reform in Amereca and deep divides in government, I’ve been asked about Pietmond’s collective stance in all this. Pietmond will always remain a *world* community, separated from any of the 2 Amerecas or Ueroupe or any other real life place in that respect. It has no set political agenda. It is spiritually neutral, in that no official religion is allowed. Since it has no politics or religion, no separation of state and faith are needed.
But what, someone asked, is TILE then? Seems like a religion to me. Yes, it can act as a religion in a pinch, but it will always morph back to something harmless and fluffy in due time, like a teddy bear or other stuffed animal taken to bed by a beloved child. And on the other hand it makes for a heck of a colorful board game, but without set rules (see: Rainbarrel). If I had to commit myself, I’d say TILE is more philosophy than anything else, and this is how it likes to speak of itself personally, for it does have a voice (see: Meatwadianism).
Are there Anti-TILEists in the world beyond Pietmond, or even inside Pietmond? There’s always an anti- to anything regular and established, and I think that’s good if not taken to extremes. I contacted the appropriate people and, yes, I have been given clearance to give out the names of the several Anti-TILEist living within Pietmond’s borders presently. One, Warren Zeevon, aka Warewolf of Linden, believes in the power of 3 over 4, and the other, the Canopean alien Clarence Colgate living above it all, believes there are 5 archetypal divisions of what he calls The All instead of the 4 TILEists constantly haggle and debate over (see: Pietmond Open Space).
TILE has been criticized because of its origins in a Foreign One. This is false information: it comes from the concept of 4-in-1, sometimes also corrupted as 4orrin1, which is in turn a corruption of Norris, Tennessee. Warren believes that when the levee breaks we’ll have no place to go, and Pietmond will have to be rush limbaughed to higher ground. The Norum cemetery will be underwater, and the blind, heathen power of Sapphire Mother Source 4 All 1 will be dissolved. The flood will come; inevitable.
What of Clarence, then? Well, he just thinks the whole idea of Pietmond is silly, like gerbils being funded for, well I’ll go into that now…
I asked Warren first about his beliefs, and he says he practices it mostly to be a good and correct model for his children. It took me a minute to understand what the bachelor was talking about, but then I realized he thought of his gerbils “around back” as his son and daughters. He proudly states that he has created a fund to send all 4 to gerbil college when they mature, which should be later this month. Then we had to cut the discussion short as one of the “daughters”, Hazel, was spotted leaving the lot and heading toward the snake-invested rocks to the south. Warren luckily caught up with Hazel in time, but he said I should leave now and ring him up later that night. It was only after I got a ways down Long Way that I realized Pietmond had no phone service.
Which acted as no hinderance at all for speaking with my second Anti-TILEist of the day, although the Colgates now live at the 7000 meter level above Pietmond (directly above the TILE Temple ironically) and far outside of any native Pietmondian’s natural flight range. Several villagers have stated to talk to Clarence or any of the other 3 in the family, all you had to do is hold a finger to each temple simultaneously and concentrate on contact. After some confusion about holding the sides of the TILE Temple instead of the temples on my head, I found this method (telepathy) to work quite quickly, and Clarence, clear as a bell, relayed to me that he was raised a Pentagostal and sees no need to change his belief system even after dying and being reborn as a Pietmondian several centuries back now.
So there you have it. Warren and Clarence coexist in Pietmond despite their differences with each other and the citizens surrounding and sometimes even crowding in on them (Pietmond being very small and all). When Pietmond was Pitchfork and the 4th was seen as “Underground”, it was a bit different, but Peter SoSo and the revealment of The Labyrinth changed all that. The only present danger I can sense is that Warren is so engrossed in Pietmond’s past as Pitchfork. Unhealthy obsession? I decided to attempt to contact Hazel telepathically and ask her opinion.
“Meek!” came the answer clear as a bell.