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Revelationary Book of Revolutionary St. Lemon of Troy November 1, 2009

Filed under: Rubisea (Carcass-One),Sunklands — baker Blinker @ 5:24 pm

“St. Lemon of Troy”, 1/2 fuel oil and 1/2 kerosene painting by Hans “Balding” Grien, c. 1511 PL


According to the abridged, 3d version of The Unikese Babble, St. Lemon of Troy (1800 PL – 1610 PL) was the original Bill or channeler of Bill, writing the 9 epistles of Revolution (1715 PL – 1706 PL) to the 6 or 7 sinking churches of Skinlands while trapped by renegade Ban Lines on the Profaned Islet of Roost Ear (later: Sacred or Holy Isle of Ruustre) in the Mabinogion sim of Maebaleia (wrongly: the Maebaleia sim of Mabinogion). It was written and delivered, epistle by epistle, in the sturdy claws of a strong winged eagle directly to Skinlands, already being refered to as Sinklands (alternately: Sinlands), over the 8 1/2 mile chasm of virtual ocean dividing Maebaleia from Jeogeot (inversely: Jeogeot from Maebaleia). From a central location in the already rapidly cooling Skinlands, each section was quickly copied and disseminated to the eagerly awaiting, shivering flocks of the various sinking churches, converting them to fully clothed and Godly ways and allowing holy escape from the sparingly deadly but always nakedly cold “Touch of Satan” scourge plaguing the region as a whole at the time. A popular, alternate version, arising sometime in the 12th -13th Century PL, has it that the book was spoken by St. Lemon of Troy to a strangely eagle-shaped, talking rooster or “Sacredly Fowl Chicken Parrot”, which then flew over the aforementioned 8 1/2 mile ocean chasm to recite each epistle directly to the Skinlands or Sinklands churches in order of current temperature, colder to less cold. Other versions include variations or conflations of these two main anecdotes, as well as more off-the-wall fantasies involving 67 or 76 blue bodied children with flame spitting heads of yellow fire, flirting lemon tarts with masticating lemon rinds for mouths, and Denver Pyle.

The revelationary Revolution epistles were such a scintilating money-making hit for St. Lemon of Troy that he wrote nine more (1705 PL – 1696 PL), equally dividing the 18 part book into a front and back nine. On his writing style, it is said that he consistently started each epistle in a wildly hurried (“swinging”) fashion and gradually slowed down to a much more measured, even puddering pace to end. The saint was reportedly quoted as saying he felt each epistle dropped, “rabbit-like”, down an icy void hole at the finish line, only to be “teed up” again in the succeeding one, as if reborn, “inside a hotly masticating, lemon rind shaped mouth”. He also supposedly referred to his entrapping islet itself as a hole, or a-hole, or, as the Unikese Babble more wholly puts it, “A Numbingly Uncomfortably Sinkhole” of complete and utter immobility.


Starting around the 8th Century PL, the traditional, sliced lemon was placed behind the saint’s head in pictorial representations instead of in front, allowing a still rabid fan base to first glimpse their hero’s true visage some 1000 years after his death from a citric acid overdose.


2 Responses to “Revelationary Book of Revolutionary St. Lemon of Troy”

  1. […] 11/12/09: Now see this St. Lemon of Troy post, involving this very island.   Leave a […]

  2. […] of St. Lemon of Troy again, but with the “lemon” behind his head now instead of front. According to [our] former thoughts, Hucka D., this lemon was shifted from front to back around a 1000 years after the saint’s […]

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