Well, Gene Fade and Grassy Noll, after loading up on ample supplies of liquor and liquorice both, attempted to steal the 1st goodmobile from 1st tree yesterday, only to find that the Mmmmmm elders had already hidden it away in anticipation of this move. After that the two gave up, and took the less souped up and smaller (but more dependable and certainly much more modern) goodmobile offered to them by these same elders to fly to the Mossmen’s homeland, a much shorter journey than to Edwardston in Mythos. Gene Fade (aka “Mossman” from those Salad Bar Jack movies) knew exactly where to land, and guided the goodmobile close to the rock below, which lies at the very heart of this homeland. The Mossmen simply called the huge boulder Moss Main. The large, flat mossy surface at the top is considered the most sacred of the *mossmen’s” land holdings, although not-at-all the most sacred of their whole mythology. I’ll clarify that statement in a moment.
From this angle you can better see the flat nature of the top.
But, as Fade explained to Noll through the haze of their mutual hangovers, the Mossmen actually didn’t live on or around Moss Main but instead at this location on a nearby creek that empties into [RIVER]. The name? You guessed it: Moss Creek. And the village’s name, according to Fade, was Moss Most, as in the place with the most moss. Indeed, as Grassy and Gene looked around, there was a lot of moss in the immediate vicinity.
Below is a snapshot of Bare Rock, not to be confused with Bear Right Rock. Gene Fade patiently explained to the still groggy Grassy Noll that Bare Rock is so called so because it contains no moss on its surface. Neighboring Bear Right Rock, in contrast, was so named because you “bear right” at it to reach Bare Rock, the main rock attraction of the Moss Most area.
Mossman is obviously very proud and honored to be sitting on Bare Rock here. It is said that mossmen who sit on this sacred rock isolate themselves from the rest of Moss Most and become microcosms unto themselves, as Fade put it. When Grassy asked what the f— that actually meant, Fade again patiently explained that it is as if the whole of Moss Most was compassed by his physical body, the common people the arms and legs of his body, the scholars his head, the surgeons, psychologists and counselors his heart, and the few truly useless and expendable among the moss people his appendix.
Grassy didn’t understand what he considered this mystical mumbo jumbo one bit, but his hard little eyes lit up, as they say, when he and Gene spied what Fade called a lime liquor distiller in the middle of Moss Creek just behind Bare Rock. Gene Fade said it was the drink of choice for most moss people, and he was not suprised to see evidence of its mass consumption left behind. In fact, there were two such massive distillers found in the creek at the former location of Moss Most. Grassy was very disappointed to find both completely dry now and without any trace of liquor left.
Gene and Grassy enjoy the amazing view of RIVER from a cliff atop Moss Most, but Grassy was too sober to fully enjoy it. He was ready to go home to his own liquor cabinet at this point.
But Gene Fade insisted they at least attempt to climb nearby Moss Main, since they’d come so long to see this place. Grassy grudgingly gave in, and was only mildly disappointed when they both kept slipping on the wet upslope, unable to go but a short distance up the huge boulder.
Adn then a picture of a flowery field the author took on the way home from the Moss Most photo shoot. 🙂